1-800-F-MY-TREE:
Don’t give me that look. The "F" could stand for "fix," you know.
For the last couple of years, the sister and I have been responsible for putting up the Christmas Tree. We’d drive to the house from Cornell, have dinner with the family, and then roll our bloated selves to the basement, where we’d piece together Mom's ginormous Yuletide puzzle. Usually this involved me separating each layer of branch (color-coded on the connectors in order to keep track of the sized groups) and unsmooshing them while Crooks, who is allegedly .014432 inches taller, would attach them to the trunk.
Next came the lights. These we would invariably string and unstring no fewer than seventeen times after painstaking inspections for the one finicky-goddamn-bulb that worked just fine on the floor. And all because somebody’s too stubborn to replace the lights she bought in 1983.
The whole process generally took upwards of three hours.
Mom just called — she can’t figure out the Christmas Tree. Worse, she apparently thinks I can help her assemble it over the phone. But even if I could walk her through it, she’d be foiled for want of a stepladder.
This year, the Queen of Christmas isn't putting up a tree in the downstairs living room -- which means our house will have to somehow make do with only four Pillars of Christmas. This is because for the first time this side of the 21st Century, we'll all be gathering in Dallas at my aunt and uncle's house for the holidays, anxiously awaiting the arrival of my cousin's new stinky wrinkly shrieky poop factory baby.
Some traditions are transitory -- and that's okay. It's never the tradition that's the important part, anyway.
1) i miss putting up rima's tree! and looking at the seizure inducing lights the houses of the residents of your home town
2) i have at least 1/2 an inch if not more on you
3) if you are in dallas this year, how are we going to meet up in waterloo for lunch at panera?!
Posted by: the sister | 2008.11.18 at 03:51 PM